★ when you're gone

Sunday, October 25, 2009 7:45 AM

⇨ ;' (

Sometimes i find im better off human w/o feelings.
Like REKCUF, you know. Idk how or where i should start.
Im not blaming guys here but i rarely understand why they should somehow do a common mistake?
I know no one reached where perfection is but it's common bloody mistake, okay.
Women did mistake too, but idk how it judge by a guy.

You giving me hopes, hoping i could fly high up the sky and living in blueee and peace.
Where i could only owe you. The place where only i get all your attention and hope, by all mean.
But now, we stay a few distance and what i manage to see were all pieces of hope.
What kind of hope? False hopesss
I knew im unlikely gives you like your past ex-es gave you. Im truly sorry.
I have my egoistic. Therefore, you have it too.
But you cant always hoping me be the same as them. Im what i am. & for the sake to be the same as your ex-es, i cant.
You have to accept me for whom i am but i cant be the one that way too different from who i am.
I don't want t be fooled by the face I wear for a mask, a thousand masks.
Added that none of them is me. & idk if youre out of my life.
I dont think so, neither, do i think so.

Im bloody and teary sad. Here it goes.

His name came up on my hp caller ID

At exactly eleven forty-three.

I answered it in my cheery fashion tone.

As for our late-night talks were always my passion.

But his voice told me that something went wrong as if like a horror movie's Foreshadowing song.

However, Rose taught me to be strong and hearing him took a deep breath and told me the phrase, "We need to talk"

I was put in a daze. And seriously, in daaaze. "You understand don't you? Are you still there?"

I tried to answer as I felt my heart tear, but no okay. As rose told me, my tears not worth anyone that inappropiate.
Apart from tears, a thousand thoughts were ready to spill but my mouth wouldn't talk.

As my eyes began to fill. Thoughts raced through my head. The thought of being alone

Made me feel so afraid.

"I'm not expecting you to understand. You're a student and soon a sophomores, life holds different demands.

"Still one day, When your life is Temasek Polytechnic as a fashion designer, and activities there, You'll realize why I made this choice.

Talk to me, or reply me uhms? or okay? Do you have a voice?"

I hung up/

I would if I hadn't hung up so quick to comfort myself,

I was feeling quite sick. So then this is it, this is the end.

What more can I say then? "I'll miss you my ex best friend."

-Muhd Arrayan Wisnu. -